Watch this video on the Power of Yet.
The Power of Yet
Teaching, parenting, and coaching are all difficult jobs. Depending on the ideals, standards, and expectations that are set, we can shape a child's mindset. Comment on one or more of these commonly asked questions.
Do you believe making excuses for children's failures will protect their self esteem?
Do you praise children's intelligence to make them feel smart?
Have you used discipline to "teach a child a lesson".?
Do you praise children's intelligence to make them feel smart?
ReplyDeleteThis question made me pause and reflect. I typically do not praise children’s intelligence. A lot of my comments with students take place in the hallway, and are intended to build relationships. They generally don’t relate to intelligence or academic accomplishment (unless you count “bring your books,” “don’t forget your spiral notebook,” “make sure you have a pencil,” etc.). I do jokingly issue challenges to them (“Students do not get 100% on my tests. 99% fine, but not 100%. That would mean you are as smart as me, and you are NOT!”). I do encourage effort, particularly in those that I know doubt themselves and/or are working hard. I guess I try to make sure that the students who perceive themselves as smart don’t get to full of themselves, while trying at the same time to help the ones who don’t understand that they can accomplish things realize that they can if they work hard.
I liked your last statement. Sometimes the smart kids are a little too full of themselves. This can be tough on the other students in the room. Especially when they feel that the "smart" kids aren't working very hard and are still successful.
DeleteI thought about my own children as I watched this video and reflected on the questions. My son struggles in math and often feels like a failure. The idea of "not yet" is a great approach for me to take with him. I think students would benefit greatly from this. My concern is, when? If they are not there "yet," we generally don't have the time to help them get there. We have to keep moving on. This is especially tough in math, because of the fact that new concepts build on previous concepts.
ReplyDeleteDo you praise children's intelligence to make them feel smart?
As a general rule, I do not praise any child for intelligence, whether it is a student in my classroom or my own children. There are so many ways to praise a child that do not focus on intelligence, but focus more on the process. It is my hope that kids will see that the process is just as important as the outcome. In my classroom, I want students to feel safe trying, even if they are incorrect. I have been trying to help them understand that making a mistake is better than not trying at all. Some kids get it and make more of an effort taking risks. If they make a mistake, we fix it. That is how we learn.
I do not praise children's intelligence to make them feel smart. I have students say to me often "You have to say my artwork is good." My response is "You never hear me say anyone's artwork is good. I will give you suggestions to improve your work or I will tell you something that worked well in your work that you worked hard on."
ReplyDeleteI see students with a fixed mindset that have this idea that just because we are teachers we have to tell them how great they are. I definitely dispell that myth in my classroom!
I do think that teachers play a powerful roll in students mindset and acceptance of mistakes as growing tools and not something that is holding them back.
DeleteYou have to read "The Dot" by Peter Reynolds to your students. It's a picture book about a student who is down on themselves about their artwork and inability to draw, and the teacher starts with a small word of praise. This leads to the student saying that the teacher has to say this, and then it goes from there... This is all about this topic/theme.
DeleteThanks Karen I will look it up.
DeleteWe read the dot in first grade and it is one of my favorites.
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ReplyDeleteI loved the video and the power of "yet". I have never heard of "yet" before and I found it to be a powerful mindset. I can comment on all of the questions. No~ I do NOT believe in making excuses for children's failures to protect their self esteem. First of all, I don't agree with being phoney and rewarding kids for trying but failing. They need to learn from their mistakes~ If they are constantly told, whether they are successful or not, that they are all winners, is one of the worst things you can do to a child. They are not learning how to be wrong and make a mistake. A mistake is one of the most powerful things in helping minds grow. I do not praise children's intelligence to make them feel smart. I think that is setting them up for failure. They stop trying, or worse, are devastated when they get something wrong and are afraid to look stupid. That can cause those types of kids to go to extreme measures, such as cheating, to make sure they stay on top, because you told them the were so smart. I will say I have used discipline to teach a student a lesson, but I admit it may not be the best approach. I think a better approach is pointing out what they did wrong, and helping them come up with solutions together. That way they have ownership of what they did and helped solve to problem together with the teacher.
Audrey, I could not agree more with your point that "A mistake is one of the most powerful things in helping minds grow." Students, and adults, who learn to overcome and grow from mistakes ultimately succeeed. The confidence that can come from recognizing, correcting and then avoiding the same mistakes is intrinsic, and something that students can carry with them and build upon.
DeleteI like your idea of pointing out what a student did wrong and helping them come up with solutions together. This can really turn around a student who is causing a distraction to others or interrupts instruction. Sometimes they are only doing it for attention, and this gives them the attention they need to better themselves.
DeleteI enjoyed the video the Power of Yet....I first became familiar with this over the summer when I saw some "Growth Mindset" ideas on pinterest. There is actually a video of Power of Yet on Seseame Street. I do not believe in making excuses for children's failures to protect their self esteem.
ReplyDeleteChildren need to learn that it is okay to make a mistake and even fail as long as they keep trying. Effort is very important in everything children do. If you change your words with children you can change their mindset. Focus on their process.
I agree Sue. I have a lot of students who are afraid of making mistakes and it holds them back in school. It's so important to teach them its okay to make mistakes and to learn from them, not shut down!
Deletei agree with you Sue!! Mistakes are truly learning opportunities.
DeleteWe have read how all these approaches are encouraging fixed mindsets. I do not believe in excuses for failures to give kids more self esteem. Sometimes we fail and it feels bad but as long as we gave our best effort and worked hard preparing we will improve over time. Stay on the path and it will pay off. When they see the improvements they will feel good about themselves. Success that does not come easily means so much more. I often tell my kids in therapy that they are trying to beat their last performance not another students'. They have individual goals to work toward.
ReplyDeleteI praise students a lot. After reading about the type of praise that works for kids I am changing my positive feedback to be about effort actions and process.
ReplyDeleteI have to say that after reading this book I am much more conscious of how I talk to my daughter and my students.
DeleteCarol-I am noticing changes in our room with how all 3 of us have changed our wording just a bit. With the kiddos that we work with, they struggle so much with almost everything that when they have a success, it is easy for us to go over the moon about it. I see now that we can still support them and celebrate their achievement in a different way.
DeleteI do a lesson on self-esteem to the students in the IEC. I always ask them who is the toughest person on themselves? Most of them respond with the answer, "Me!" I tell them their parents and family members will often praise them when they do well or for encouragement. However, they need to be their own best friend. They need to compliment themselves at least 3 times a day. Even if they don't do as well with something as they hoped, they still have to praise their effort, and tell themselves they can do better the next time. I will now add that they should not make excuses for failures, but learn from their mistakes and try to do better the next time. Even small successes and improvement help to boost self-confidence.
ReplyDeleteAs the video talked about, I like the idea of commenting or writing on students work “not yet” instead of a putting a failing grade on it. Seeing the words “not yet” could light a fire in them that they need to continue to study and work on this. I don’t believe making excuses for children’s failures will protect their self-esteem. I believe if we teach them to have growth mindsets, they will see failure as sign to improve next time. We need to let them know that it is okay to make mistakes, as long as we learn from them and do something to change the outcome next time. I award students even if they make small growth in the classroom, because it is different for all students! I do not praise students to make them feel smart because they may feel like they can never make a mistake. I try to be very specific when I praise, such as you were really helpful in class today when another student needed help. This is more beneficial than just saying “good job.”
ReplyDeleteI too love the idea of putting not yet on a student's paper. This gives them the mindset to keep going because they are almost there. I often think that when students receive a failing grade they tuck that paper away and "forget about it" the next day will be something new. Empowering these kids to change that mindset is one of the difficult challenges we face. Intrinsically is where most kids get "stuck" You have to want to put forth that effort, succeed and move forward.
ReplyDeleteI use "almost" a lot on papers of struggling kids. I think I have always been cognizant of "overpraising" kids. I often find myself complimenting great strategies or ideas, which I hope gives kids a sense of accomplishment for their efforts.
ReplyDeleteA teacher has a different feeling of giving a failing grade when she knows there was not effort put into studying, and giving a failing grade when there has been effort, but you know with a little more practice, that child is capable. This book made me think more about the kid who is not putting in the effort. Do they have a fixed mindset that effort has produced failure in the past, so why bother? These are the kids we need to reach. We need them to see that their effort can produce results and their mistakes can help them grow!
You have an excellent way of speaking to students...and teachers.
Delete:) It makes me smile.
I really liked this video. I think that the idea of "not yet" is such an encouraging statement. I often find myself saying to students "your on the right path" and encouraging them to give their answer a little more thought. It is such a pleasure to see the smile on their face when they have tried again and have succeeded arriving at a better answer. I think that we are all in the "not yet" area in some place in our lives. Mistakes are accepted in our therapy room and a starting place to grow. I do not praise intelligence, but rather the students effort and resourcefulness.
ReplyDeleteDo you believe making excuses for children's failures will protect their self esteem?
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't until I became a coach that I realized that "everyone gets a trophy" could be a confusing practice. In the video the presenter mentioned that employers noted that employees can't do their job without getting praised or receiving some sort of reward. At times I feel the pedagogy of education and current childrearing practices are truly hurting children and society. Needless to say I don't think that making excuses for a child's failure will protect his/her self-esteem. I think a child knows why he/she might have failed and by making excuses it allows students to excuse themselves from the responsibility. As a teacher or coach I find some parents make excuses for their child if he/she didn't do well on a test or in a match (we were busy...he hasn't been feeling good...etc... or the other kid was stronger, bigger, etc...) and they release their child from the blame. If we want students to learn to make other appropriate decisions such as what would they like to eat for dinner...what do they want to wear....what do they want to do etc...then they need to be allowed to reflect on mistakes and set goals for themselves.
Do you believe making excuses for children's failures will protect their self esteem?
ReplyDeleteI do not believe in making up excuses for children's failures. I rather use this as a teaching opportunity to grow from. Kids need to learn that things can be challenging and we may not always win a game or have a 100 on a math test. Through hard work they may find that they can accomplish their goals. However in life we don't always come in first place but that doesn't mean that you are a failure and I feel that is important to understand.
The other day I was working with a student who was struggling with a skill. Amy could hear our conversation and she said something to me like, "You have be reading your mindset book, your response was all growth mindset." I realized that the student has been much more engaged in the process since I changed how I react.
ReplyDeleteI have a wonderful memory of a student I worked with who HATED making mistakes. It would often set off a tantrum. I did try punishment in the form of timeout a few times but of course it had no effect. So I started trying to head off the tantrums with words and touch. I can't tell you how many times I held her hands and said mistakes are ok, they help us learn. After a year or so, she started saying "Mistakes are OK", when she made a mistake. And then, one day another student was upset over a mistake and she told the student "Mistakes are OK, they help us learn." After that day she owned the advice and never had a tantrum again in OT over a mistake.
I thought a lot about the question, Do you praise children's intelligence to make them feel smart? I do find myself telling students who have performed a task really well that they are smart about how they approached the task. I am meaning to praise the effort and perseverance. I will have to look at my word choices in the future.
Word choice is key...I find that I am rehearsing words in my mind before I say them aloud.
DeleteGreat that you bring up word choice! As we grow as teachers we develop a response set for so many situations. Having just the right words to say on the spur of the moment or even as a report card comment can make all the difference.
DeleteDo you believe making excuses for children's failures will protect their self esteem?
ReplyDeleteI don't agree with making excuses. I do think you should teach children to step back and look at what they did, how they approached it, and what they could do differently in the future. We don't want to start teaching children to make excuses for everything. Mistakes happen, and so does life. I try to teach students to not look at things as failures, but rather opportunities to grow. Ok, you feel down. Now get yourself back up - because from here it can only get better. I try to teach them that they need to learn from these situations as this will help guide them into the next steps. I have done things like showing them a plant that has wilted due to lack of water. But, give it a few days with some sunlight and water, and it will come back to life - sometimes stronger than before. Sometimes, things can make us feel like that plant, but we need to get our strength back.
Do you praise children's intelligence to make them feel smart?
I don't necessarily praise intelligence. I praise effort. I will tell a child that I believe in them and that they have a lot to offer. I will tell them that they are smart and can make good choices. But, I don't praise it. I think every child is capable has much to offer. Each will meet their goals in individual ways. This all goes to the growth mindset. Students need to know that they are not going to be perfect or right all of the time. I had a student point out a mistake I made the other day. When I laughed and told the student I was doing that human thing again and making mistakes, the student very seriously replied that they never made a mistake. Of course I let this go. However, as the next few days went on, and this student made several mistakes, I did make sure to say that we all make mistakes and that that is how we grow. The student just smiled and reluctantly agreed. Every child needs to understand that mistakes are possible and they need to develop a growth mindset. Whether they don't believe in themselves, or they have too high opinion of their abilities. We need every child to embrace the "not yet" philosophy.
Do you believe making excuses for children's failures will protect their self esteem?
ReplyDeleteUmmm….. No. I believe the way we frame feedback is critical, and I would never want it to sound like making excuses. This is not how we empower or motivate children.
Do you praise children's intelligence to make them feel smart?
I praise a child for the types of character traits I value: perseverance, productivity, effort, kindness, awareness and empathy, etc
Have you used discipline to "teach a child a lesson".?
I’m a parent, of course I have at some point. Lol. I also know I have learned from these trials and errors, and often found myself saying to myself “well…. THAT didn’t work”, eyes rolling, insert sarcasm. But we try things, we act impulsively sometimes. The more experiences we have, the larger the pool of favorable options we have to choose.
Intelligence - How easily these words come out..."wow, you are so smart!" - so yes, I guess I have been known to praise intelligence. As I have mentioned, I think it was a fast and easy approach to give positive feedback on a success. I now realize there is a different approach that would encourage growth versus stifle it.
ReplyDeleteDiscipline - to teach a lesson? Sure, yes, I guess I have done this. We try to teach consequence by having a child sit out of a turn, we try to teach our own children a consequence by taking away a privilege. Sometimes it works, sometimes it backfires. But as Camille stated, we learn what works and what doesn't. With our most challenging students, I tend to learn what doesn't work far more often than what does....but we keep trying.
I don’t think making “excuses” in general is helpful habit to develop. Even at the third grade level, I will have my students reword a comment if it starts to come out as an excuse. A common excuse for not having homework is, “I had ________ practice and didn’t have time to do it.” After they finish with the excuse, I will give them a sentence starter and ask them to finish it. It might sound like this, “Next time I know I have _________ practice and homework to do, to be better prepared, I will ________________________. I think owning up to a responsibility, even in third grade, is good for self-esteem.
ReplyDeleteI am working harder to praise the effort that is being exerted by students in the classroom. Students have a tendency to ask, “Is this good?” I will not answer but ask them in return, “What do you think about it?” or “It looks like you spent some quality time on that. What is your favorite part?”
I have been guilty of using discipline to teach a lesson; however, it can be difficult to break habits of how I was raised….old school. Over the years, I have modified my policies to include more natural consequences and reflection. Although missing recess is still an option on occasion.
I liked the “not yet” grade. I can see myself using that comment.
It is my goal to remove the excuses! I feel that as teachers we should be as organized as possible and provide easy access to the materials that students need to get the job done. As a third grade team we have worked hard to meet this goal. We have developed an at home resource folder and we have many of our weekly materials posted online for our students.
DeleteThe first thing that came to mind when reading this chapter was the "Participation Trophy"! Argh!!! I think I have four boxes of these in my attic, one with each of my kids' names on it! I have sat at numerous sports banquets over the years and my favorite award is the Most Improved. I always enjoy when the coach would take the time to tell about the journey that an athlete has made to reach a new level. In my classroom I look for growth. If you are the best when you arrive you still need to grow.
ReplyDeleteAfter best is bester....it should always be a goal.
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